i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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