so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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