He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
