DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
