Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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