My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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