did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
