I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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