Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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