i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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