the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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