He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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