Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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