Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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