all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What drink are we having for lunch?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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