youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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