all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
