i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
