I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
