Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize