Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
