Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
