I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
