the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
