I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didn't notice because vodka
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
