you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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