great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm too high and old for this...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
