Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
