We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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