did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
