Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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