I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
