3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
