Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
