She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
this hospital has no fireball
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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