She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
