god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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