# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would ride that face into the sunset
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
