I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When did angry sex become our thing?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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