I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
