if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm always down for nudity.
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