I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
