I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
