we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
