and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
