you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
