My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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