Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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