The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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