the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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